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Pastoral Wedding Policies
Rev. David T. Melvin
GETTING MARRIED AT
THE COMMUNITY CHURCH
Weddings are a joyous and exciting time for any couple. As you anticipate a life together the Community Church rejoices with you. Because we believe that God is the architect and originator of marriage we want to be sure that he is honored in any weddings that take place in our building. The following questions and answers are designed to explain how we understand marriage and how we may be able to be a part of your wedding day. Please take time to read each one. While there may be other topics that need to be discussed, the following cover many of the basic questions a typical bride and groom have.
Q: What does your church believe about marriage?
A: We believe the Bible teaches that marriage is the joining of a man and a woman in a lifelong committed relationship. In the first book of the Bible, God established marriage; it says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (Genesis 2.24)
Q: Do we need to be members of the church to have a wedding there?
A: We don’t require membership at the Community Church, but we do expect a couple will worship with us regularly.
Q: What if one of us is or has been a member at the Community Church?
A: We’re always glad when a member of our church family is preparing to get married. But church membership doesn’t guarantee that one of our pastors will perform the wedding. Every wedding is subject to the policy that the church has established.
Q: I’m an active member of another congregation. Am I able to have my wedding at the Community Church?
A: We welcome other Christians to use our building with the understanding that there is some compelling reason for you to come our way. We will want to know what that reason is before making a final determination. One of our pastors may want to consult with your pastor concerning your request.
Q: Is it possible for another pastor to participate in our wedding? Does a pastor from the Community Church need to be a part of every wedding?
A: Other Christian pastors are welcome to participate with one of our pastors. In some cases we do allow other pastors to officiate at weddings, but with the approval of our pastor.
Q: What is a wedding at the Community Church like?
A: First of all, it is a Christian worship service conducted in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; this includes prayer, the reading of appropriate Bible passages, a meditation on God’s Word, and the exchange of solemn wedding vows. Second, the pastor will assist you in planning the service to make it meaningful and personal for you.
Q: What about music for the wedding?
A: The church organist may be available, or you can bring musicians of your own. If outside musicians will be using church instruments, they must contact the church organist first. Generally speaking, the type of music should be the kind that would be used in a typical church worship service.
Q: I’m a Christian but my fiancée is not. Can we be married at the Community Church?
A: The Bible clearly says that a professing Christian cannot marry someone who doesn’t believe in Jesus. Since we believe in the truth and authority of the Bible, and seek to do what it teaches, the pastor would not be able to perform the wedding.
Q: We are currently living together. Can we be married at the Community Church?
A: Again the Bible is quite clear. Any sexual union outside of heterosexual marriage is prohibited, and therefore the pastor could not perform the wedding. However, should you separate and remain sexually inactive and pure until you are married, then it would be possible for the pastor to perform the wedding.
Q: One or both of us are divorced. Is this a problem?
A: Since there are a variety of factors at work in each individual case you will need to discuss those with the pastor. After talking with you, he will be able to determine if he can perform the wedding.
Q: We have some unique circumstances not mentioned so far. What should we do?
A: The pastor will be glad to discuss these with you. He may seek the advice of the elders of the Community Church before making a final decision.
Q: Will we need to meet with the pastor before the wedding?
A: Yes – usually 3 or 4 times are needed. During those times the typical topics are getting to know one another, questions and issues in relationships and marriage, and planning the ceremony. These meetings usually take place during the 6 months before the wedding. They are scheduled at times mutually convenient for you and the pastor.
Q: We need to set the date soon. When can I know that I can have a particular day and time?
A: The date will be finalized once the pastor has determined that he is able in good conscience to perform the wedding.
Policy for Child Baptism/Dedication
“People were also bringing babies to Jesus to have him touch them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. But Jesus called the children to him and said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.’” (Luke 18.15-17)
Throughout the history of the Christian church, parents have made a commitment to raise their children in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord”, in the hope that their child will come to abiding faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and live a life of faithful discipleship. This has commonly been expressed in one of two ways: child baptism or child dedication. Since both are practiced at the Community Church of West Medway, the following sets forth our understanding of each and our policies concerning them in order to help parents who desire to commit their child to the Lord.
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What Is Baptism?
Baptism is one of two sacraments or ordinances practiced in most Protestant churches. At its core baptism represents identification with Jesus Christ. It does not convey salvation in any way, shape, or form. Rather, the water of baptism points to the cleansing from sin that is found by placing one’s trust in Jesus Christ. The act of baptism signifies a connection to and identification with the Body of Christ, the church, and the new life of obedience into which the Christian enters when he/she places faith in Christ. There are two “types” of baptism: the baptism of the children of Christians – child baptism, and the baptism of those who profess faith in Christ – believer’s baptism. While baptism is a key practice of the church, only personal, individual faith in Jesus Christ provides entry into the kingdom of God.
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What is Child Dedication?
It is a ceremony where Christian parents commit to prayerfully, actively, and intentionally raise their child in the ways of Christ, desiring that the child will put his/her faith and trust in Christ as Savior and Lord. When at some point the child does trust Christ, then he/she would be baptized based on their profession of faith.
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What is Child Baptism?
It too is a ceremony where Christian parents commit to prayerfully, actively, and intentionally raise their child in the ways of Christ, desiring that the child will put his/her faith and trust in Christ as Savior and Lord. In addition, it identifies the child with the community of faith, acknowledging that God, in his grace, has placed the child within the fellowship of the people of God.
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Are Child Dedication and
Child Baptism identical?
While they share much in common there are differences between these two practices. Those who hold to child baptism see that this sign and symbol of identification with the covenant community of the church can extend to children. Baptism is understood to be the new covenant extension of the Old Testament rite of circumcision, and a sacrament that is given by the church. On the other hand, there are Christians who believe that baptism is an ordinance and only for those who have publicly declared their faith in Christ. Yet those who believe this way, also believe that is meaningful to publicly commit their children unto the Lord, in a ceremony performed in front of the church.
Throughout the history of the church these two views have stood side by side, embraced by sincere and godly Christian people. In both cases, baptism is regarded as important and an act of obedience to Christ. In addition, both child baptism and child dedication express the conviction that our children are a trust from God, and that we are to live in such a way as to point them to Christ. Both acknowledge that each are to be practiced by Christians only – those who profess faith alone in Jesus Christ, and who live this out in the fellowship of a local church body. Both call upon not only parents but also the whole church to be involved in the raising of children so that they might embrace Christ in faith.
Why does the Community Church
practice
both Child Baptism and Dedication?
The Community Church of West Medway was established out of two separate churches – one that practiced child baptism, one that practiced baptism of professing Christians only. In view of our heritage and our conviction that both views can peacefully exist within a local congregation, we invite parents to express their commitments in the way that reflects their own understanding.
What then is involved in the
Baptism/Dedication of a child?
1. Both are performed during the public worship of God’s people, to express a public commitment on behalf of the parents. The ceremony, however, does not confer membership in the local church upon the child.
2. It is the acknowledgment of Christian parents that our children are a gift, a trust from God; we do not “own” them but they ultimately belong to God.
3. It is the commitment of Christian parents to raise their child in such a way that they child may personally come to faith in Jesus Christ, resulting in faithful obedience to him.
4. It is the commitment of the local church to provide Christian nurture for both the parents and the child, through worship, Christian education, and personal relationships.
May any child be dedicated/baptized?
Yes, subject to the following criteria:
1. At least one parent has made a credible profession of faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.
2. At least one parent is an active member in good standing of the Community Church of West Medway. If an individual has demonstrated committed participation in the life of the congregation but has not entered into membership, his/her child may be baptized/dedicated with the approval of the Deacons and the Senior Pastor.
3. The parents have read and studied a packet of study materials on child baptism/dedication prior to meeting with the pastor, and can in good conscience affirm all that is found therein.
4. The parents should live locally. Parents who live out of the area may have a child dedicated/baptized at the Community Church only if there is some unusual and extenuating circumstance, and if they are involved in a local church in their home area. The parents must consult the pastor of the home church, as will the Senior Pastor of the Community Church. The Deacons and Senior Pastor of the Community Church must give final approval.
5. All child baptisms/dedications will take place during Sunday morning worship service; only in extreme cases and circumstances will they be held at other times and places, and only with the approval of the Deacons and Senior Pastor of the Community Church.
6. Other circumstances or concerns not mentioned above will be taken under consideration by the Deacons and the Senior Pastor.
Are there other things we need to know?
• The date of the dedication/baptism is at the discretion of the Senior Pastor and Deacons.
• In order to maintain the reverence and decorum of the worship service, no photographs or videos are to be taken during the baptism/dedication.
• An adult-staffed nursery is provided for children during the service, and older children are invited to attend children’s church, which meets during the latter part of the worship service. Your children may join you during the ceremony, if you desire.
• Godparents/sponsors are at the discretion of the family, and are not required.
• The Community Church will provide a certificate of baptism/dedication.
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What do we do next?
Once you have read through this pamphlet, and find yourself in accordance with it, you should do the following:
1. Call the church office, (508) 533-7032, between 9AM and 2 PM Monday – Thursday, and request the baptism/dedication study packet. Arrangements will be made at that time for you to receive the materials.
2. Work through the packet as outlined in it.
3. After completing your study of the materials, call the office to arrange a time to meet with the pastor. Inquiries about possible dates may be made at that time (child baptism/dedications are not normally held on a communion Sunday – first Sunday of the month).
4. Meet with the Senior Pastor to discuss any questions from the packet, and to further clarify the meaning of child baptism/dedication. Specifics about the date and the content of the service will also be discussed.
5. On the scheduled day of the dedication/baptism, be sure to arrive 10 minutes before the beginning of worship.
6. If there is a question not answered in the above policy, you may call the Senior Pastor at the church office for clarification.
Policies:
— Weddings
— Baptism/Dedication
• What is Baptism
• What is Dedication
• Why we practice both
— What next?
